we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize