Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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