If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
