it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
