You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
