I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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