just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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