yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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