My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
