Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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