You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My cat gives me a boner
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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