She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
