Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
this hospital has no fireball
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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