we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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