There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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