WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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