Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
