Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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