My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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