so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
