so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize