So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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