I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
