If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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