So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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