Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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