yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize