can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize