Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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