is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
