i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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