Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
