youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
