i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
