I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
