to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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