I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
