i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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