So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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