is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
