Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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