i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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