I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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