he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
