we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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