It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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