Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize