at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
