the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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