seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
