He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
