Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
