So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
