he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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