I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize