You made me cry and you don't even care
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
