apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
