Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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