Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
