Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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