So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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