Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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