How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
