you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
