Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize