He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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