Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dancexxcutie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

People in love make me want to vomit

Fav 34 2020 3041
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.

Fav 20 10803 1092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

Fav 25 4735 910
share tweet
(269): View more from Michigan

Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.

Fav 13 6515 985
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

Fav 16 7607 1520
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

Fav 18 8174 1568
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(979): View more from Texas

There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

Fav 6 2862 898
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

Fav 1 1611 607
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.

Fav 0 107 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT