mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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