How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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