I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
