I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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